The Passion of the Three Moons
While The Caprican's Tara Mull was out living the rugged life, breathing in the clean mountain air and catching fish with her Picon frak buddy, I was stuck here on plain old Caprica with the rest of you. However, for those of you who can't afford a getaway, or don't have any interest in living your life like a bohemian jackass, there's still plenty of things to do right here at home, right?
So, for those of you looking for an adventure that doesn't involve going off-world and possibly catching something from some smelly fisherman, might I suggest the Three Moons Lounge?
You've no doubt heard of the place, and yes, it's right in the heart of downtown Caprica City, not hidden in the shadowy outskirts like its reputation might imply. It's a place for mature adults who are looking for a little fun. Something to spice up a marriage, or take a relationship to a more adventurous level. There's no need to feel embarrassed, ashamed or self-conscious. They take care of you there, and the sky's the limit.
I can't really go into more detail than that, but you hopefully get the idea. And are getting some ideas of your own. At the very least, you'll make some new friends - and maybe some new friends with benefits.
The best part? It's all real. This isn't some V-Club where obnoxious children indulge their pathetic ids. The Three Moons is for grown-ups - real flesh and blood, with emphasis on the flesh.
Feeling a bit nervous when you first get there? Go to the bar. Order yourself a Scorpion Ambrosia. Yes, they serve it there. I know it's an acquired taste and most Capricans hate it, but this is all about a new adventure, right? A new experience. Give it a shot and let it take you where it will.
And the best part is you won't smell like Picon fish in the morning.